FriendlyMasseur's  Blog

Not every masseur is going to graciously receive an older, overweight, handicapped, or unremarkable client.

Some will make the appearance of doing so yet will be watching the time with 30-50% of the attention they should be focusing on that client. So many masseurs serving gay bi and questioning men make the appearance of caring about others. Though at a closer glance, one can't help but notice that they are way more polite than they are genuinely nice or compassionate.

In the most extreme cases, if a client even so much as attempts to gently push any boundaries, a sniping, nasty, or even unhinged reaction may result.

Nobody wants to be callously rushed through their massage session by an egomaniacal inexperienced or insecure masseur who may even be seething with contempt for them through the entire session.

Men who are not fashion models, rodeo cowboys, or porn stars deserve the same care, consideration, and quality as everyone else but don't often receive it.

I suggest having a short phone call with the practitioner to spell out how they approach their session in advance of booking an appointment.

ALWAYS go to someone who will appreciate and value you and your business!

I’m probably a lot more interested in why you don’t get a massage more often than you might think. I am not only in the bodywork business because I have exceptional massage skills and a fit physical constitution. I also have a keen interest in other people, other peoples values, and the way other people approach personal growth and success. Hard-working tightly focused people need and deserve to be pampered. It doesn’t matter to me whether you’re finishing up medical school, working overtime to buy your first truck for your plumbing business, or transitioning out a long-term corporate job architecting your next move. You need a break! Please know that I am interested in your journey, I’m happy to have you be a part of mine, and may even hold a pearl or two of unconventional wisdom. And of course you will rise off my table feeling happier, more relaxed, and more vital than when you layed down on it.

Most masseurs are one-trick ponies. Sure they are hot but what added value do they bring to your massage session? What exactly are you taking away from the encounter you just had?

In addition to being a compassionate man with an incisive mind, I spent decades informally studying how to increase vitality, safeguard health, and prolong good quality and joyful life. In addition to being a great masseur, I am also a wellness chef. Any physical or constitutional problem you might be experiencing has many remedies and methods of address. I know a surprising volume of these and am happy to share information with you.

When you make the choice to come to me, you are not just getting a thorough and thoughtful massage by a fit friendly guy, great company and companionship with a man who really cares about you, your health, and your humanity; but you may also potentially recieve incalculably useful and maybe arcane information about how to successfully manage your unique issues and constitution.

Some of us are just hot which is just fine. Others of us are a lot more than you might expect.

No, you are not too old! Stop saying that! I hear it way too often and as a prototypical product of generation X, I could not possibly agree any less with that trope. On the contrary, I personally see your advanced age and varied life experience as an asset to our potential rapport. If you are a man of advanced age, especially one with a history of distinction and healthy self-awareness, please do not allow your chronological age to be a deterrent to you hiring a masseur. People age and their bodies age, and so what? I intimately understand how helpful massages are for older people. As I am not the youngest masseur myself, I do have a bit insight into the complications of aging and this has only inclined me towards heightened perceptive and consideration of older gentlemen. As a long term bodyworker, my touch is one of finesse and technique. I promise I will be mindful and gentle with you, pay careful and equal attention to bodily durabilities and frailties, and I welcome input during the session. Please note that my studio is five steps up from the driveway, I can let you in through my kitchen door which is only up three much shallower steps, or an outcall may be available.

If you are partial to a massage which is full of skill, signature technique, and deftness of motion, it is probably a good idea to hire someone closer to a swimmers build than a body builders build.

With all the mystique surrounding physical interaction with huge bicepted men whose pectorals bulge like dinner plates, in 9 instances out of 10, those guys are not gonna massage you anywhere near as well as a nimble swimmer or runner built guy with fine motor coordination.

Generally speaking, there is also a major difference in the hands of these two types of men. Bodybuilders lean towards having rougher calloused gym hands. This has the potential to be problematic particularly in the more sensitive areas of the body.

Conversely, lithe athletic masseurs usually have hands that are both strong and soft. Chances are they have wider range of motion and elevated sensibility to the application of pressure with different parts of their hands.

In my experience, the leaner lither masseur will deliver a far superior massage every single time!

In the forum of massage, different guys connect in different ways. Some prefer some polite chatting at the start and end of their session. Others like discourse for the first few minutes they are on the table before they drift off to a deeper state of relaxation. Another ilk of clients enjoy banter through the whole massage and yet a small percent prefer only the barest of essential communication. Any of this is just fine with me.

While I love to chat and connect with my clients, I am also quite happy to remain quiet and meditative. I enjoy learning about all kinds of people as much as I enjoy the artful application of massage work. Therefore, you are always welcome to engage me in all manner of conversation or to elucidate that you prefer silence or that you are ready to stop talking from any given point forward.

When you engange me for bodywork services, I see your time with me as your special dedicated time. With that first and foremost, it is my intention to help you to attain the most satisfaction and relaxation you can while we have the pleasure of each other's company.

1/ Mature men usually have more experience.
2/ Mature men are usually more conscientious.
3/ Mature men are more likely doing massage because they enjoy the work.
4/ Mature men are better listeners and their egos are not affected by specific directives.
5/ Mature men have higher aptitudes for empathizing with client needs
6/ Mature men generally have cleaner, nicer, and better equipped physical studios
7/ Mature men are more patient with clients who are attepmting to pinpoint where exactly they fall on the Kinsey scale.
8/ Mature men are nine times out of ten, more qualitative conversationalists
9/ Mature men are prone to enjoy the company of people who are both similar and dissimilar to themselves.
10 Mature men, when well preserved, well educated, and worldly can steward a very memorable (and repeatable) client adventure.

Sexually fluid and questioning men are more common than ever. Interest ranges from very casual to very intense. A lot of guys have a lot of questions they would like answered but have no idea who they might ask. If that describes you then perhaps you might like to ask me. I am very well informed and am a good listener. There is no question too simplistic. Everyone follows their own paths of unfoldment progress and self discovery. No two are the same. You can be certain I will have great concern for yours. All I ask is that you respect my professionalism and reserve the bulk of your questions for your scheduled massage session where we can have a long and detailed in person chat. Should anybody reading this need this clarified, these dialogues are very much a branch of my professional services so I will decline to be engaged in protracted text or phone conversations about these matters in advance of your session. Thank you!

Over the years, I've heard complaints about other therapists losing focus during the session, more times than I can count....usually after I have completed the entire high quality massage session without distraction, as promised and advertised. I perform my services for beautiful and genetically gifted men in the exact same manner and fashion as I do for every other client who dignifies me with his business. The fact that you regularly make everyone else's knees buckle will render me no less professional.

When you are on my table (and in life in general) I don't care if you are a porn star, movie star, sports star, runway model, or some facsimile thereof, you're going to get an excellent head to toe skillful and thoughtful full body massage, end of story. Of course I will notice your looks and body, I'm not blind. But my cognizance of this will never lead me to modifying, downgrading, rushing though, or supplanting the fine thoughtful attentive body work which you are paying me good money to receive without objectification.

I have a plush massage table warmer and fleece blankets to keep you warm and cozy in the winter
I have lots of airy windows to keep the fresh air flowing in the spring and fall
I have both celing fans and air conditioning (for very hot days) to keep you very comfortable during your summertime session.

I use uplifting aromatherapy diffusers with oranic orange, organic lemon, organic lime, or organic lemongrass oil.
I use the highest quality nonallergic, virtually unscented, cream based massage products
I use extremely mildly scented cleaning products and detergent to clean my massage table, linens, and face cradle covers.

If you have any special requests for products (no runny oils will be used) or implements, please do not hesitate to let me know!

Gentlemen on the upper end of the age spectrum have some unique concerns when seeking any M4M service. First and foremost ageism is a well established condition in the gay/bi community. I take great exception to this embarrassing state of affairs and am quick to point out it's absurdities when confronted by it. Having been partially raised by exceedingly wise and devoted grandparents, I have always valued and cherished interactions with older people. Secondly, after years of doing massage I am well aware of changes encountered on one's physiological journey and the special dispensation that is sometimes required. I encourage clients young and old to enlighten me in advance of the session to elements of their unique physical and musculoskeletal constitution, health conditions, and touch preferences. This frank discussion enables me to better customize the massage to provide maximum comfort and relaxation for them. And third, I am quite seasoned in the arcane knowledge that nobody is ever too old to be sensuous or to desire or benefit from sensuous touch. Only a self-centered rookie would believe otherwise.

There is a misguided running theme in the gay, bisexual, and men seeking men world that the only way to have a first rate massage experience is to neatly fit into some artificial narrow parameter of “hotness”. — It just so happens that some of the worst massages I ever had have been performed by guys resembling movie stars and pro athletes. There is nothing less satisfying than being with a guy who is accustomed to lemmings falling all over him and throwing good money after bad for terrble service simply because he’s hot. In contrast, some of the best massages I have ever had were given by non-classical types who actually have the mental bandwidth and life perspective to engage in nuanced thinking of other people besides themselves and have taken the time to develop their massage techniques & other vital interpersonal skills. The same goes for my clients. The quality of your service will never be diminished if your body fat index is high, you fall outside of classical height range, your complexion is dark or light, you’re above a certain age, or not an oil painting. Honestly, so what? As long as you’re nice, friendly, courteous & not a cheap bastard we’ll get along just fine!

I have very thoughtfully set the prices for my professional services and stand proudly behind my professionalism, attentiveness, and overall high quality of those services. To be brutally honest, when someone tries to negotiate my fee down, I completely lose interest in being of service to that client. Here is why: No amount of money is worth the feeling of denigration that comes from dealing with a haggler or doing backflips to please a cheapskate. In this same vein, if someone front-ends his communications with all kinds of special needs and requests that will take extra time and attention for me to successfully provide and then balks at length of massage session I suggest (or is eager to reduce it), this is a crystal clear indication that my chances of a successful relationship with this client are minimal if not entirely non-existent. --- I am only interested in having good client experiences and relationships from the outset....and I am never in denial about a no win situation.

A very important reason why my long term regulars remain loyal and why I consistently enjoy a stream of new regular clients is because I place high value on excellent rapport. A good and easy rapport is as vital to the quality of your rentmasseur session as delivery of effective high quality physical massage. I have been aware for a long time that clients often have strong multiple motivations for hiring massage professionals. I will suggest to any potential client who is new to this millieu to seek out someone who is easy to talk to, palpably kind, and who will be grateful for your business. Concurrently, savvy and intelligent clients are aware that a little bit of gratitude and sensibility on their part can go a very long way!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!! ---- With the frenetic month of Distemper(Oops I meant December)upon us, with hugely overcommitted, overtaxed, overdriven schedules, there is no more thoughtful gift than a blissful massage with yours truly, THE FRIENDLY MASSEUR. I will transport the recipient into never never land with a relaxing revitalizing rejuvenating reinvigoragting otherworldly massage. Please see www.friendlymasseur.com, or call Bill for details!!

I welcome any client who is in a period of personal and "social" expansion who is fielding and navigating a whole new repertoire of personal conditions. If you are gradually, or not so gradually stepping out of your longstanding (often quite conservative) comfort zone, there are a great many ways in which I can help you. Many guys have been in a relationship for many years, or have just relocated to Los Angeles from a much more parochial location. One of the peripheral yet valuable ways I can be of service to these types of clients is to direct them to the vast myriad of resources available in Los Angeles for people who have increasing interest and needs to safeguard and protect their lifestyle specific health. So much of tension relief lies in the acquisition of information that is not readily available to the general public. Please feel free to ask me about these matters during your session. I will do my best to help!

*As a reminder, I am extremely anti-subtance and anti-intoxication. So if substance use is part of your process I strongly recommend not coming to me.

As a seasoned professional, it has taken me a long time to cultivate my expertise. I take a great deal of pride in my training, ethics, & attention to detail. I have extremely carefully & consciously set the value of my services at a price that is both a great value for my clients & an incentive for me to keep my performance to the highest standard.

In general, it is a spectacularly bad idea to try to downwardly negotiate a professional's established service fee. Here is why:

Suppose a man needs a new look. He does some research and approaches an experienced, busy, & personable hairstylist with his intention to hire them. During booking, the stylist repeats their published fee of $150 for a fashionable men's hairstyle. At this point, the stylist is eager to service a new client.

The client then turns around & says "I'll give you $120". If the stylist agrees to accept $120, this client will likely not be getting the perimeter razor cut or other key finishes & flourishes that everyone else gets. Such a stylist will gladly chop 20% off their service to mirror the 20% this client has naively chopped off the requested fee.

Hence, I will always say no to that request & that client!

The last thing I would ever want is for any guy who is trying hard to improve himself to feel as if he is not lean enough, tight enough, or in shape enough to enjoy a massage on my table. Perfection is never a requirement nor an expectation. I would like to take this opportunity to assure you that if you hire me during your weight reduction period that you will receive the same excellent care, attention, concern, and compassion as would any other client. Every body needs and deserves to be pampered and that is exactly what you should plan for when you choose to come to me!

I encourage any potential client who is genuinely interested in a great massage, to bypass the porn star and model/actor types. These "Madison Avenue and Hollywood Approved" ilks of men are always the first to be booked, the most expensive to hire, and the last to perform above a 6 on the one to ten scale. I have had enough massages myself to confidently declare that you are greatly increasing your odds that the over hot masseur is going to feel entitled to slack off, skip over areas of your body, give lackluster attention to important areas, or give you a very limp overall massage because they have done their business calculus using the factor of their mainstream good looks as an inflated metric. Because most clients think with the herd, they are always disappointed when their mainstream hot masseur is blasé about their visit or over-tired from massaging too many people in a short period of time. Personally, I find guys who are a little bit less mainstream to be much much hotter and when it comes to massage, they almost universally try much harder, are more skillful, are more energetic, care more about their clients, and are more conscientious in general.

There are too many accountings of young snooty masseurs who suddenly appear crestfallen the instant they discover their client is a man of advanced years. This couldn't be more diametrically opposed to my own feelings about seniors. Some of the very best chats I have ever had with guys on my table have with extremely mature men. I value the perspective and experience they share and feel it is a privelege to be of service to them. Older gentlemen can consistently expect care, sensitivity and attention when choosing to hire me.

Many different life scenarios lead up to men becoming attracted to men in midlife or later. In some cases, guys have known for a long time and are just now thinking about acting on those feelings. I have worked with many men in this position and understand that some men feel extremely confused and vulnerable as they grapple with related complexities. Some guys seek to explore in the forum of massage performed by a man. If this describes you, you will not make a better choice than choosing me. I will do my best to make you feel comfortable and safe during your session. You can bring up any subject or ask any question and I will answer you as honestly and openly as I can. I have learned long ago that everybody's life has a unique rollout. Yours is exactly what it is and you are fully entitled to every aspect of it. Whether you are divorced, widowed, or for whatever reason you just couldn't act on your attraction to men until now, I want you to know that I am here to help you navigate the journey in whatever reasonable way I can. While I am here to be of service, I am not here to judge.

Nobody likes a stuffy massage studio. That is why I have carefully engineered my premises to provide exceptional ventilation without any direct wind blowing on my client. However, that feature is available if requested. I go to great lengths to make my studio comfortable. For the winter months, I have a heated table cover and plenty of fleece blankets for those who run cold.

Over the years, I have gotten my fair share of massages. Not only does this help me to relax when I need to but I have garnered a great deal of useful perspective via demonstration and advice. This has equipped me to deliver better service to my clients. We have all had those masseurs who apparently think that their clients have no extremities or that all the tension lies in the core of the body. I have never been one of those. From the earliest stages of my training, I have learned that many of the most important nerve endings and all of the most complex muscular motor systems are located in the hands and feet. With this always in mind, I make a concerted effort to give your hands and feet the time, care, and attention they need for your overall relief and reengergizement.

You are already feeling vulnerable due to stresses and tension, go out of your way carefully select a masseur in a veritable sea of options, drive intrepidly through LA traffic to their studio, and in the first few minutes of being in their presence, you discover that the masseur could not possibly care any less about any part of you that exceeds the hard parameters of your wallet or they cannot stop texting, or their neck is craned looking at the clock constantly. Nobody likes to feel like a cash cow and anyone who makes you feel like that deserves only to see the back of you walking away. I have gone to a couple of those masseurs in reconnaisance and have quickly ended the session. I am here to tell you that if somebody makes you feel badly, or like you are being processed, it is not written anywhere that you are under any obligation to stay. Simply stop them, get up, tell them you are uncomfortable, and pay them 25 - 50% of the fee depending how long you stayed on the table, rounded up in their favor. Then put your nose up and leave.