RelaxAndRenew's  Blog

Earlier this year I had a high PSA blood test. That led to an MRI that found a lesion on my prostate and eventually confirmation of prostate cancer. While I was living in Spain I had a biopsy which indicated in need for surgery. I had that surgery on November 7 in the US and began recovery about a week later when the catheter was removed. I’m happy to say all of the results show that I don’t have any cancer cells left, and that in about four more weeks, I will be able to resume doing some massage work. I may have to alter my massage a little bit at first, but I’m hoping to get back to my normal routines in a couple of months. I’ve had many clients contact me during this experience to check on my well-being, and to them I am extremely grateful. The bond I have with my clients is truly amazing! One client even brought dinner over for my spouse and I shortly after surgery! Massage is a magic blend of physical wellness and kind affection! Hugs!

Did you know that for massage “aloha” means loving intention? I am taking an online course to learn Lomi-lomi techniques to integrate into my current practice. For the client it means long strokes across the back with the forearm, nice diagonal strokes across the buttocks, and the possibility of deeper work with the elbow when necessary. The technical part is fascinating, but what really caught me was the focus on loving intention. It is very similar to a Buddhist meditation in that regard! Peace and love to all living things. Loving intention to my clients! Aloha!

I have always been curious about the title, “Sacred Intimate”. Not having a particular religious faith, the part about being sacred really escaped me. Over time, I have developed my own understanding of this use - and it seems to be similar to other masseurs although they don’t often discuss it. In this use, “sacred” means the profound level of trust and the esoteric nature that a massage experience can include. If you think of it this way, intimacy is a natural part of the picture. So, in my mind, I am a Sacred Intimate…I work with you during your massage to enable you to feel a deep (almost mystical) level of trust and connection with your body. There is also a connection with me that is both transcendent and intimate. Thus, a sacred, intimate experience. After all, my primary goal in your massage is for you to “lose yourself” in your body’s sensations and to develop an intimate trust in the entire experience.

Massage can be just clinical, but not in my hands. A client recently told me that after the massage I gave him he felt better in 3 ways. First, a truly therapeutic massage based on the places his body held tension. Second, an emotional boost due to the intimate feel of the experience. Lastly, mental health. I am thinking that he might have meant the sense of connectedness, or the deep emotional nurturing of the body contact, or even the refreshed perspective one can get from a great massage experience. After all, if you have your health, and you have an awareness of your body’s relaxed and renewed state….everything else is secondary.

So many of my clients tell me this. I intentionally create a safe space by doing several things. First, I’ll take a couple of minutes at the beginning of the massage to find out about what you like, what you don’t like, and what makes you comfortable. Although I want clients to slip into that zone of being totally “into” their body sensations, I do check on how pressure feels along the way. Because my massage involves a lot of body contact, there’s also a sense of emotional closeness, in addition to physical closeness. The result is an intimate, caring experience, along with a therapeutic massage.

As I continue to study trigger points, I realize how important the muscles in the upper shoulder and neck are and how they can cause pain in many parts of the body. I can see how I could easily spend 30 or 40 minutes just getting release from the sternocleidomastoid and the trapezius! What is fascinating about trigger point pain referral is that the pain is always farther out. In other words, neck, pain comes from the upper shoulders: headaches can come from trigger points in the neck.

A Massage therapist I knew in Portland recommended that I study trigger point therapy. I bought the manual he recommended and I’m going through it now. It’s interesting because I immediately saw the application of trigger point based on what I have felt in clients muscle and will start using this technique as I learn. Of course I will ask…trigger point is not for everyone. It can relieve pain and soreness on-site or referred pain…a great tool to add!

One thing that I feel separates me from other masseurs is a genuinely nurturing spirit. I get a lot of positive energy by making clients feel relaxed and connected. When I am cradling your neck in my arm or wrapping my arms around you to get to the final work on your back…I am hoping you feel a deep sense of being cared for both physically and emotionally. Touch can bring vitality, a sense of calm…even serenity.

I’m in the midst of a three-session training with a massage guru from the famous Body Electric organization! Very excited to broaden my approach to massage and try out Taoist-based ideas. Not sure if I will incorporate them over time or design a new massage experience. Need to check with clients and get some feedback! Here we go!

So one of my clients asked me to use cupping on him the other day. He explained that his physical therapist had told him how to perform the cupping on himself, and he was confident that I would be able to help him with it.

Well, he was right, but this form of cupping used cups in action instead of the hot cupping that I was familiar with. They were silicone cups, that, once you applied suction, move across muscle fibers, lifting up the tissue. It’s sort of like massage in reverse - pulling instead of pushing. It’s interesting. If a few more clients are interested I will purchase the cups…but they do leave redness that can last a few days. Not for everyone…

As I encounter different clients along my massage journey, I run into some men who are quite athletic and want to incorporate more stretching into their massage experience. As a result, I am seeking training in the next month or two to up my “stretching game“. I already incorporate stretches mostly around the hips and legs, since that is where I have noticed the greatest need consistently amongst many men. However, to provide the flexibility I would like to provide, I need to learn a little bit more about additional stretches for the legs and arms . I have already done some studying and have picked out another massage therapist who will give me hands-on experience. Another great tool to help me understand ways to give clients maximized benefits from a massage experience!

One of the reasons I like to do 90 minute massages is that I don’t feel rushed to get to all of the places I’d like to during a massage. Taking time for those slower, longer (Swedish style) strokes is wonderful. Because I take my role as a masseur seriously, I expect to do a complete massage in 60 minutes. Realistically, a 90 minute session is better to get a Theraputic massage with all of the sensuality I like to include. If you are new, sure, go for a 60 minute session…but once you know what I do….you will want 90 minutes.

Now that I have arrived in Portland, I’m getting a lot more request for deeper tissue type of massage. I have been experimenting with this in the past two weeks, and will seek out additional training. Often I will use my elbow to do deep tissue work in the back and the buttocks. However I recognize that I need to learn more on this… Stay Tuned!

In the month of May, 2022 I had the pleasure of getting more feedback on my massage technique with one of the top masseurs in Palm Springs. When I went for my massage with him, I was struck by how he used slow long strokes (Swedish technique) around the neck and how relaxing it was without deep pressure. I discussed my massage technique with him and offered him a massage in exchange for feedback. Needless to say, I am now watching for places to use his wonderful technique - more repetition of the long, relaxing strokes. Not just around the neck - also the back and the thighs seem to benefit from this. I have not abandoned my deeper work; just added the relaxing long strokes where they seem to really make a difference. Also, some of the new clients I have seen ask for lighter pressure, so this is an important technique for those men.

During massage almost everyone has music playing and candles lit. It's just part of a relaxing and inviting atmosphere. My question has become: playlist or hypnotic repetition? When I first started massage, I would select a playlist that included soft jazz, new age piano, and environmental sounds. Then everything changed! I found a 3-hour YouTube video that had an amazing sound...quiet, rhythmic, and trance-like. Now I find that it helps me focus more on the massage...but I am still asking clients what they think. What sounds do you like during massage? Please message me! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZbuj3RJcjI

In the past 3 months I have invited two highly respected and experienced masseurs to give me feedback on my 90 minute massage. I am happy to say the feedback was very positive and has resulted in a few tweaks to my technique. I am very happy with my use of body pressure to get to those problem areas in the back, and that technique was well-received by my mentors. Also, I am thinking more about the "Beginning, Middle and End" for the whole body and major muscle groups. I want to be more aware of my clients' breathing in the future as well. My goal is to continue to learn and improve my practice ---- for you!

When you arrive for a massage, I will ask you if you prefer oil or lotion. Oil has a more sensual feel, lasts longer, and is more aromatic. It's also harder to wash off, which can make a difference if you are not going right home after the massage.

Lotion is more readily absorbed, has some degree of aroma, and doesn't feel as slick. If you want a more sensual feel - go for oil! If you have somewhere to go...choose lotion.

Not sure? I will always choose oil due to the great feel and higher level of aroma. : )

When I see a new massage therapist, I usually book just 60 minutes. Something interesting happened during December - a new trend that is a good one!

I had several clients book 60 minutes, since it was their first visit, but they asked for an option to increase it to 90. This happened 4 times in December! And I love it. I can do a more complete massage in 90 minutes.

So....if you are new, go ahead and book 60 if you want...but feel free to ask about extending it to 90 as an option. I rarely have back-to-back bookings, so I have the flexibility. Happy New Year!

This week I had a client tell me that his second massage was even better than his first. I told him that I expect that. I keep detailed notes after each massage, so that each time I see a client I can tailor the massage more and more to their individual preferences. In this case, the client responded particularly well to long hand strokes, deep work on his legs, and an occasional brush from my scruffy face. I think my base massage is great - but with each additional visit I can definitely customize and take it up a notch.

This past week I had a massage swap with a masseur I highly respect. He gave me valuable feedback on my technique and complimented me on my use of body weight to finish off the upper back and neck during a massage. Also, I found a fantastic place here in Palm Springs to get oil. It's called "Sinfulicious", and they will make customized blends of oils and lotions for massage. I am trying out blends that include lavender, bergamot, vetiver, and sandalwood this time around. Clients are liking the lightness of the oil and the fragrance choices! I will go there to get customized lotions soon!

It is important to communicate with your masseur during a massage. I always verbally check on depth and pressure with new clients, and when I am exploring new techniques with anyone. The point here is that communication can also be done without word - a sigh or a moan when a muscle finally releases tension, or even a touch to my leg to ask for more work on a certain place.

Breath is probably the most important way to communicate in massage...taking a deep breath can be a sign that the work on an area is done or that deeper work is invited.

Combining voice, touch and breath for communication will always result in a better massage experience.

I have found that when a client mentions a problem area, massaging that area one time is not enough. My technique involves doing focused work an that area (often upper back or shoulders), then move on. After a while I will come back and reassess the area as I do a second or third pass. This way, I can bring the whole body relaxation to the problem area. Also, I usually begin with the deepest strokes, then work more lightly each time I come back - again to focus on bringing relaxation that is balanced throughout the body.

Great news. I will be getting special training next month on special massage techniques for men's hips. I will be going to a trainer in Seattle who is well known for his amazing massage and stretching work around this topic. Stay tuned! Don