TheWhisperer's Personal Masseur Interview

Last Updated: Feb 07, 2023

- My practice blends three central components: it's therapeutic, it's playful, and it's spiritual. Therapeutic means I want your body to feel better while you are on the table and when you leave than it did when you got here. Playful means we're men who enjoy being consensually physical with other men. Spiritual means I use language of ancient religious blessings to illuminate the miraculous nature of the human body and to demonstrate how something as intensely intimate as massage is enhanced by conscious awareness of the holiness of our bodily experience.

- Oh, yeah! I'm very frank about the things I'm no good at, so I am unabashed about saying I'm a really good masseur. I have a lot of regular clients, and they comprise a very diverse group of men. A great compliment I received from one client was, "You don't give cookie cutter massages."
I loved hearing that! My skills are my skills, but each client is an individual, and each session is its own event. It's great if I remember what we did the last time you came for a massage, but I listen carefully to what you want this time, today. I try hard not to project. I may know you well, but I don't necessarily know what you need from me today until you tell me.

- Oy, do I remember my first paying client!
He was a personal trainer and had the most beautifully sculpted body I had ever laid eyes (or hands!) on. I was so self conscious that I gave one heck of a mediocre massage. I knocked over the oil. I apologized a zillion times. I forgot my well rehearsed routine. He was very patient, but I really had to learn how to chill the f*ck out and focus on my work.

- I love traveling and have built up regular clientele in other cities around the country. Having my massage kit with me when I travel, even if I can't transport a table, means wherever I am, I have a chance to meet people I otherwise would not and get closer to the genuine life of any place I visit.

- There are certain kinds of massage, where it can overlap with physical therapy and other healing modalities, for which extensive formal training is essential. In general, though, I think intuition, focus, and experience are more important. Most important question for a masseur is "Do you enjoy what you do?" If the answer isn't yes, I think it's not the right profession for that person.

The area where sophisticated training is very important, though, is around Consent. I strongly recommend people check out the work of Dr. Betty Martin on "The Wheel of Consent." Her work brings clarity and ease to potentially challenging or perilous situations. The baseline for a successful encounter between two bodies lies in the ability to answer two questions: "What do I want" and "What are my limits?" Awareness is everything. Communication is essential.

- More than that. I don't function well in the other parts of my life without this work. It grounds me. I am totally present when I'm giving massage -- I can't/don't multitask; my focus is entirely on my client, and I love that feeling.