invictus_tight's Personal Masseur Interview

Last Updated: Jan 07, 19:55

- Yes, I would miss being a masseur because what I enjoy most is the human connection I make with my clients. People today are so buried in apps on their phones that the value of face-to-face interaction is lost. Being able to meet people in person as a masseur is refreshing and, more often than not, meaningful. I have met some really good people being a masseur. I would miss this most.

- This depends on what a person considers "successful" to mean. For myself, I think "successful" should be less about me and more about the massage. In other words, I wouldn't ask if I am successful, but rather if the massage I gave was successful. If a client of mine feels relaxed, at ease, and relieved of tension and stress; then I consider that to be a successful massage. Whether or not I think I am successful is irrelevant because being a masseur is first and foremost ensuring that your client is satisfied. My techniques and my service are a means to that end. Therefore, considering myself to be a successful masseur is empty of value without the client's satisfaction, the true measure of success with massages.

- I do remember my first client and I was fortunate in that I was also his first masseur. It was not my first time giving massage and it was not his first time receiving, but we made each other feel very comfortable. Based on his reaction when I finished, specifically, in complete comfort not wanting to move, I felt confident that I would be good at what I do.

A particular technique I find necessary to giving a successful massage that I've done since day 1 is to begin the massage with stretching out the muscles that I'm going to massage. In so doing, I search for knots and I ask for the client to tell me where they would like me to spend more time / spend less time, which then personalizes the massage to their needs. During this first step, we engage in conversation, break the ice, and allow our bodies to acclimate to each other.

One of my favorite things is the distinct moment while stretching... it happens with every client...that I feel the clients shoulders sink and let go of tension, which then tells me they're ready for the massage I've always felt that moment to be especially poetic because it shows they trust me and that they are comfortable, which is absolutely necessary.

- I think I want to modify this question and split it into two questions:

"why did you become a masseur then?" and
"why do you continue this work now?"

Answering both touches on an understated benefit to becoming a masseur, and shows how my motivation to do this work evolved to take deeper meaning, unexpectedly.

I will be honest, I became a masseur because I needed financial support while transitioning careers. I had been doing stressful work, turning me into someone I didn't want to be; so I joined the Great Resignation. Now I'm trying to write for a living, because that more aligns with who I am. I am very grateful because it's helping me make this leap.

I continue to be masseur for the same, but now even more, for the human connections I've had with clients. Gay communities are thinning out and becoming almost solely the phone. We've all become little blockable squares. Yes, this is online too, but only initially. It leads to meeting in person, getting to know, spending time, and talking with a person, not a crafted/polished square - and I've met some good people. In a world where we lack these connections, the meeting people with this work is refreshing and therapeutic.

- To be able to answer this question I would have to know what other masseurs are like, and apart from the massages I've had done to me, I don't necessarily know how guys are on here. I think that what could distinguish me from other matures is that I am an empath and that most of my skill comes from connecting with a person's energy and intuitively knowing what they need and what they want. Often times, when I'm giving a massage, it is a Zen activity and just as relaxing (mentally) for me as it is for my client. The rest of my skill comes from the strength of my steady hands and my patience. I don't rush through a massage, it is not enjoyable when counting the clock. You can't completely enjoy something when you were anxious about how long it takes it's more important to live in the present than to rush to the next minute.

- I travel as much as I can, so much so I made a commitment to myself in May of 2020 to go to someplace new that I've never been once a week and I've kept up with it for over 2 years. They tend to be shorter trips but I also enjoy travelling far, on longer trips too.

Traveling gives you a chance to experience something new, can a break from your daily life, and it allows you to view yourself outside of your environment to see how your environment affects you. You can learn a lot about yourself when traveling. It's a blank slate of sorts so its easier to step outside your tendencies and habits.

I like travelling with people but I almost prefer to travel alone, that way I can have the time to explore, moving at my pace, and experiencing things through my own eyes.... not to mention meeting new guys in a different location and that is easier to do alone. 🙃😇

- Extensive training? No. A masseur's success, I believe, depends upon the connection he has with his client that provides a comfortable atmosphere for the massage to reach full effect. While having a lot of training, even just some training, is* beneficial to the quality of the massage; to discover your own technique and style outside the limits of what's expected has always worked for me. Extensive training is not necessary for a masseur in order to be successful - but this doesn't mean that he doesn't have to do anything.

- Most importantly, I would like someone for whom I've given a massage to leave with a peaceful state of mind - to feel at ease, no urgency, no stress, no worries. The relaxed, loose, light feeling from the full body massage will stay much longer if accompanied with a mental state to compliment. If worry/stress/fear/frustration take the helm, your body will tighten up. I would want a client to leave a session with me feeling mindful, clear-headed, and peaceful in the present moment.

- If I were to give advice to someone who wanted to be a masseur I'd tell him first to be sincere. Much of the benefit of getting a massage comes from the connection between the masseur and the client, and you can't establish that connection without being sincere. Then I'd tell him that, just like with everything, there is both the good and bad; that it is very important to be safe and alert. Also, I'd say not only to be sure to set clear and communicated boundaries with your clients but also stand by them when crossed. Finally, I'd say to enjoy it - that in a world more and more reliant on impersonal technology, and the unfortunate result of pushing us away from each other, being able to meet another guy in person and provide the sensation of touch to him helps reconnect you with unadulterated human connection without tech.

- In May of 2020, in an effort to develop a healthy relationship with myself and to reclaim what was lost from several bad relationships, I made a commitment to myself to explore places I've never been by myself every weekend. The locations don't have to be flashy tourist spots, they could be a park in the city or a wooded trail somewhere; so long as I've never been there and that I go exploring by myself. Since then I have gone exploring for 90 weekends total and for almost 2 years. I have a map on my wall where I mark where have been and I have a gallery of photographs from each as well. I post the photos I take and list the locations I visit each week online. Since then, I've had several people tell me, after seeing my photos, that I should pursue a career in photography. I never would have known I had this talent if I didn't commit to taking this time for myself and to treating myself as I've treated others less deserving in the past. I'd recommend that everyone do something like this for themselves once a week. It is very important to spend time with yourself and to take care of yourself, and this is a good way to ensure that you do. It's like therapy, and it's a lot of fun.

- I like my clients to feel 110% satisfied with the massage they've received from me when they leave. I can usually tell they've enjoyed it when they don't immediately want to get up and would rather relax and enjoy the way their body feels after I've finished working on them. On the other hand, when I can sense they have not been satisfied or they tell me that they have not been satisfied, I will offer to continue working on whatever area needs more work until they feel the way they intended to feel in booking a massage with me. Ideally, I want my clients to feel so good after their massage that they express a desire for another appointment in the future. To me, when a client wants to book another session with me, that is the greatest assurance that I have done my job well, and that is how I would like my clients to feel when they leave.

- If I were to pick something about me I'd want my clients to know about, I'd say that I dislike insincerity - so much so I have difficulty being insincere, even if I have to be. When I give my clients a massage, I put all of myself into my work so that my client is satisfied. If don't want to do something, to me, it's better to not do it at all than to fake it and do a poor job. I'd want my clients to know that if I am giving a massage, I am sincere in what I say and what I do; and I am genuinely committed to providing for the client the service for which they paid. I wouldn't offer my services if I didn't intend to give 100%. There is much deceit out there and it seems almost common to play games. I'd want my clients to know that is not the case with me. I am real and both say and do what I mean.