MormonMan's  Blog

I love Fleet Week and the next 3 days are especially fun, as the Blue Angels and large aircraft buzz the studio and fly right outside the window for 2 hours every afternoon. If you're like me, that's actually a soothing presence; just the hum of a C-130 Hercules turboprop makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It was the main mode of transportation between the real world and the icy Antarctic where a few of us Americans work at the foot of the world's southernmost active volcano and manage operations in support of all kinds of funky science. And if that sentence doesn't entice you and indicate the type of masculine bro I am, I don't know what will.

Discounts through Sunday, more so for active duty... especially more so if you have an Antarctic service medal. Heck, I'll show you mine if you show me yours!

I used to bartend at one of America's many "The Eagle" bars. Yup, leather man here- well... leather bro, really. I like those liminal spaces between subcultures, where you can mix & match. Feels like I've done it all but... maybe my habits are just calcifying... when they should be Dad-ifying! So I'm incorporating elements of Folsom into sessions that week, and giving new meaning to the term deep tissue work.

Call me Coach. I'm going to train you to engage massage in a new way. Will that include chest harnesses? Yes. Is puppy play relevant to massage? Woof! Will the dom/sub energy be overwhelming when I lead you in active stretching while Enya's "Sail Away" fills the studio? Trick question; I never play Enya!

Warning: That week, I'm also going to the Giants season ender & Oakland A's final game ever. My energy in sessions after a game is always rollicking, but the combo of Folsom Weekend & the death of a beloved franchise will be... unique, but positive! It's all games, so let's be playful, obedient, & if the weather is scorching hot like usual, I'll serve ice cream or popsicles (no joke).

Enjoying what? Baseball, am I right?

Yeah, you're a little right, I seem to talk about baseball a lot. But Google "Anthony Recker's rear end" and see why baseball is our national past time. He was a catcher which means he spent his entirely life just doing squats. Googling him is SFW; nothing lewd coming up in that search. Well, every pants or shorts he wears look like they'll burst into clouds of thread and dust, they're under so much strain. I'm telling you, his cheeks leave the perpendicular axis of his body AT A RIGHT ANGLE! They are a true shelf. Hover technology hasn't even been invented yet and somehow Recker's Rear is clearly in full hover mode.

But no, I meant thanks to all the kind reviews. I'll respond to them publicly and I think I've talked to everyone privately, but thanks! I'm glad to add something positive to your days and, without question, my days are always improved after meeting folks thru RM. Everyone I've met has some spark or vitality that stays with me after the session and makes me smile.

If I haven't heard from you in a while, drop a line or book a session. We'll re-spark with muscle work, active stretching on the verandah & pics of Anthony Recker.

Welcome to the Dore Recovery Period!


It starts the day after Dore Alley and, like a double scoop of Lenten introspection, continues until Folsom Street Fair. You officially have two months to consider what worked for you at Dore, & who you want to be by Folsom.


You may be asking yourself:

"How can I celebrate the Dore Recovery Period?"
"What's the appropriate gift for the Dore Recovery Period?"
"Where am I? Noe Valley? How the heck- Dore Alley?! I don't remember Dore Alley! DID I MISS DORE ALLEY?!"



If you're asking that last question, the answer is:
"No. You did not miss Dore Alley. You hit it head-on. "



And good for you!

It's one of the cheerier street fairs in our fair City! And it's all about community! It raises money for good causes! It brings people together to express and share joy. And I'm not even setting up a punch line... Dore Alley is one of the purer forms of civic participation I've found in America. Good on us!

And it's probably something that you were once hesitant to attend, which means you're growing up and brave and I'm proud of you. And of Us.

Now, get some fluids & go to bed early. You look rough ;-)

The Oakland Coliseum hosts an under-appreciated happy hour today with free games like bingo, real prizes like hats, and some Oakland A's players might actually stop by. The real life pain of their departure is somewhat mitigated by this. We saw Mason Miller in the All Star game and I don't want to miss him before he's traded in a week. C'mon, it's gonna happen, don't act surprised. You know we can't have nice things!

Before and after, I'm bound and determined to keep everyone's stress levels down thru my own ministrations. If you haven't experienced them first hand, now's the time:
The weekend is upon us!
The weather is excellent!
The ice cream cones aren't licking themselves!

If I don't catch you while I'm Gladiatoring around the Coliseum today, we can still gaze at it from my studio high atop Russian Hill.

(And for a non-baseball moment, to my friends in San Diego, if you're not watching the All Blacks and Fiji in person today, what is wrong with you?!)

That was honestly the most respectable game the Giants have played so far this year, against a powerhouse team from a real sized city with lots of money. So this is significant and it was fun to watch, we giants and dodgers fans had fun cheering and booing and telling each other jokes. I still don't expect to win but now I see proof that we can compete closely and be entertaining. Small victories my friends are like a pile of hamsters! They still don't much but gosh! They're so cute all roly poly on top of each other like that!

Man, I love to polka.

Everyone can polka.

Is there someplace to Polka in SF?

I know I talk about this a lot but why don't guys undies and swim wear come in polka dots anymore? Just boxers, for the inevitable pantsing moment made popular to a generation by Disney/ABC Family tween shows where that's they ultimate way to embarrass some bully or hero.

They pulled down his pants, and he was wearing boxers with... polka dots!/hearts!/cartoons!

BTW, love how the pantsing and wedging fetish is so evolved and mainstream now. It's just amazing what the internet can do when fueled by scrotal fluids.

Take a look at the image I added to my public folder, tanning in polka dot bikini briers with a 3/4 seat. We need more polka dots. The last i saw them in menswear was the early 90's,

In the early aught's/00's, I was asked out to a baseball viewing company parting for International Male (the one and only). And they said it was just an inevitable change in taste. They thought polka dots for me would return by the 2020's.

Folks, we are here. Where are the polka dots?

I may return to this topic but till then, remain curious and send me evidence of you polka dot happiness in anything BUT boxer or boxer briefs. Not hating on them, just not loving on them either ;-

I swim in the Bay at least once a week, there's the Dolphin Club, a veritable institute situated on Aquatic Park in front of Ghirardelli. But you can just jump in the water from the bleachers, if you like. The water is... brisk. Yeah, let's call it brisk. Fires up the skin so you exit rosey pink. And nope, I do not use a wet suit, just a Speedo with a 1" inseam and a swim cap. If it's dark out, I'll attach a blinking light to the swim cap to help boats and I guess sharks see me.

I don't understand why no one ever wants to join me in the water ;-)

But there's always volunteers to wait for me to finish, then open a bottle of wine and grill some burgers ;-)

I'm wearing a pink thong, white ballcap, sneakers & my glove. That is one hell of a himbo fashion statement and at the same time a functional and sensible uniform for playing ball on a sunny hot day like today.

I submitted this uniform concept to Nike and the SF Giants and never received a response. Just to show you what fools they are, and how good this look is, I've uploaded two photos to my gallery; take a look when they're approved. For anyone who thinks that this is too revealing, you clearly did not hear that MLB went with see-through uniforms instead! Just Google it! My uniform concept reveals far less. Balls. I mean baseballs this is a rant about baseball.

Technically I submitted a design for the new uniform with an orange thong but since it was not accepted I went with a pink thong today because that seems more truly himbo and it's a nod to the visiting Padres & their awesome City connect uniforms.

You may eat all remaining Cadbury Eggs now!


I've got three left! Eff yeah!


Make that two.


Maybe I'll savor this final one...


You know, Easter is in the past but I say look to the future! We never really think about the true meaning of the spirit of Arbor Day, do we? Don't our friends, The Trees, deserve more? Arbor Day is when we put aside tree prejudice and show our gratitude to the green co-inhabitants of this planet who- I'm sorry, what?


Cadbury's makes nothing for Arbor Day?


I'm out, screw the trees.

If you messaged me the past few days, I will answer shortly... but I've been celebrating a few things: my birthday, Opening Day of Baseball, and just the overall weird syncretic mess we've made trying to celebrate the start of Spring. You know what I mean. On the one hand, it's Holy Week & Easter, but on the other hand it's Spring Break and flashing your tits.

It's my favorite time of year! What can I say? I love all those things. There was time to sit quietly and mediate on what the promise of spring says about the losses I faced during winter. There was birthday fun with friends; we went to Oracle to watch the Giants and A's play the last game of Spring Training. Jellybeans and my tits were everywhere. I'm not kidding: I tan outside when we get any sun, in just a thong or speedo. No time for modesty when the warm sun is so rare in this City.

Speaking of which, all that Spring stuff is done for the week! There's rain and wind advisories and I'm inviting friends over for hot chocolate and and cuddle puddles. Stay warm everyone!

The windows and patio doors in my place have some severe leaks so I spent this afternoon weatherstripping the first of several large multi-pane casements. If you've seen my photos, they go from floor-to-ceiling and give my place an incredible view of everything. But it's gonna take days to finish everything so I'm determined to at least provide my neighbors with more than just me in my coveralls. This is weatherstripping, after all. Today I worked the caulk gun and weatherstrips in the sun so I got away with working in my briefs, then bikinis, and finally thong. About the only thing I didn't wear was the Mormon underwear everyone wants to see. The stuff is so long in the legs and sleeves that it's like wearing pajamas. I'll stick to the pink leopard bikini briefs for now.

Assuming their approved, I'm posting pics to my public album because the stuff actually loods good, but then I like old school briefs and tacky bright bikinis. Again, anything but the boring potato sack that mormon undies are.

Now it's time for some stretching and working my glutes and hammies with a baseball, a roller, and a metal yardstick.

I'm back in my briefs, feeling dry and warm in the sun while I weatherstrip windows and feed the crows and blue jays some peanuts. The hummingbirds too. Nope, that's it. Just liking life in my undies and the sun

The rain is back? Another atmospheric river?! You can't swim in the Bay when the rain is washing waste from lawns & streets into it. You can't linger shirtless on a blanket in Washington Square. Even the birds won't come around and I just got them eating from my hand. Last weekend cleared up & I was able to lounge on the balcony in tighty whities late into the night with friends & wine, after some seriously fun SketchFest shows. What a tease! The sun, not my Hanes! I don't want to be cold and wet anymore!

So what am I supposed to do now with another week of rain? You know what? I'm not gonna fight it, but I AM gonna get wet on my terms. That means working up a sweat at the gym: lifting & working my muscles till I'm dripping! Then spending some serious time in the sauna: sitting on the top bench with it all hanging out in the steam till I'm schvitzing! Finally, I'm gonna take that sweaty energy & use it to massage some lucky soul deep and hard till he's wet and relaxed too, a virtual human Slip 'n Slide!

Or maybe one of you has a better idea? Slip 'n slide into my DM's with some inspiration & I'll share some pics from this week.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, & Good Solstice!

The Winter Solstice marks the time when Earth's rotation on a tilted access causes the Northern hemisphere to face away from the Sun rather than towards it. As a result, we have short days and longer, cold nights.

But it's also Perihelion, the time when Earth's orbit brings the planet as a whole closest to the Sun! What a juxtaposition! Strolling up alongside our pretty little star but then facing away like some infatuated fool trying to pretend we don't care.

Let's get it together, Solar System! And if we can't change planetary orbits, then let's huddle together as people, try to stay warm, share what food and drink we have, and ensure we all make it thru to easier times next spring.

More than just survive, I encourage you all to thrive and prosper. Take this week to reach out to those around you: text a cat meme to a loved one; tell a stranger Good Morning or Thank You; and be proud of yourself for making it this far and for being complex, strange, and entirely human. You're doing something right, kiddo, and the rest of us appreciate it! We all have reason to celebrate the season and I wish each of you a Joyeux Perihelion!

I was wandering the exhibit floor of the AGU's annual conference today, and talking to some the folks at a booth for a Japanese university. As a fun gift, they were making origami pieces and handed me one, saying, "It's a helmet!"

"Yes, I replied, a samurai helmet like Shohei brought to the Angels, but now he's with the Dodgers! And yes, I know I'm wearing a Giants hat but I still love Shohei. Everyone loves Shohei!"

So the Japanese folks beamed, I beamed and after I explained to the other conference attendees who Shohei is and what baseball is, they beamed too!


Tho it's gonna suck next season.


But then I went to the very next booth over, a Korean geophysical marine sciences group.
I looked at my phone and BREAKING NEWS: Jung Hoo Lee signs with the Giants!

Awesome! But... you have got to be kidding me! How are these booths placed like this for the news coming to my phone right now possible? Am I stroking out?

Nah, but I'm still a little suspicious that the universe is messing around with me.

And if you're attending the AGU too, come nerd out and look at the polished ammonite fossil I bought while we discuss climate science and ice cores.

What is happening at the Rugby World Cup?!

There is no way that was red card worthy on the NZ Captain! The camera cut to Dan Carter in the stands. Put him in to play!


#rugby #rugbyworldcup #rugbyworldcup2023

But this post-season is outrageous and delightful. I haven't heard many folks on hear talk about it. Anyone else following?

BTW, Fleet Week was also outrageous and what a spectacular view here from the studio. So close you could see their helmets and face plates when they banked sharply.

Let's incorporate both events into this week's sessions. I can wear my baseball gear and put on a motorcycle helmet. Or is that just weird. No, I see it now that I write it out: it's weird. I'll save it for Halloween.

Don't choose. Watch the playoffs from a comfortable perch on the waterfront at Aquatic Park. The swim clubs have private docks and a dip now and then is how to stay cool.

My availability is limited this week as I host it if town friends and celebrate the armed forces and enjoy the air show. It officially starts Friday but they just started practicing now and I'm watching them fly over my Russian Hill studio

The SF Giants fired team manager Gabe Kapler! I can't imagine any other course of action but what a bummer turn of events at the end of a bummer last half of the season.

But...

I'm not bummed at all! Personally, this is the best season of baseball I've had in years! Not in winning; lord, so NOT in winning! I miss 2021....

But even as both teams lost, often to each other, I've had a blast at the stadiums or watching from home. The pitch clock and other new rules have sped up the game. I'm not much of a drinker and, without a buzz, baseball could get boooooring, even for me.

The faster game brings back the fun. For example, they're stealing more bases! Well, other teams are stealing more bases; the Giants actually rarely steal. But I get my fix watching the visiting teams steal, amazing record settings sprints by Acuna, De La Cruz or Kemp.

The Dodgers beat SF tonight, and we only have 2 games left. NO chance for playoffs. No manager! But I'm not bummed. I saw Freddie Freeman hit a ball out of the park tonight whose path described an arc that was beautiful to watch. He plays for the rival but the arc and the warm night are franchise agnostic. They're not bummed either.

I was at the game today in the Oakland Coliseum. The A's lost but man, I gotta say this season for like they gained a fighting spirit. I hope Nevada votes no in giving more money to billionaires but, well, Nevada. That's kinda their MO.

WHAT A CHANGE from opening day, where I went to see Shohei Ohtani & Mike Trout & my personal favorite Laureano. Shohei pitched & hit but now he's injured which means we already saw the greatest player in history peak. Trout just Trouts which is always good. And Laureano was unceremoniously traded to the Guardians, right when I decided to finally approach the dugout for an autograph! For the first time ever! Don't wait & regret my friends! Did I watch Ramon play with his new team against the Giants just a few weeks later? Yes. But still!

Now it's back to Oracle since the Giants are playing their final home games all week. I have much less passion about their season but only because they seemed to lack it too. There were good days, but I hope they find their spark by spring.

Another week past and all that magic and power we saw after Murph's retirement, the home debut of Kyle Harrison, Cobb's almost-No Hitter, a Wednesday day game so warm I only wore one jacket to the park... the point is that things looked up for the Giants, at least to keep the wild card slot we've held all season. But that was only because every other team lost so much that they failured us up the line.

I mean, we did sweep the Rockies this weekend. I'm not proud of it but you take a W where you can.

Anyone else out there no what's going on with the team? It can't be the weather or environmental factors because the Oakland A's are actually doing well. They were the worst team and I get that, only room to move up, but they are actually more fun to watch, their rookie players are making amazing records already, and I even got a baseball signed by their catcher, someone I like almost as much as our Giant's catch- oh god damn! Giants catcher Patrick Bailey is out with a concussion. We can't catch a break! Literally, not without him!

I forgot to mention but I watched the Reds play too expressly to see Votto and he was on the IL. BUT he was there, so I'm satisfied. Mostly. Get back to work Votto! I wanna cheer ya even when you're playing against my team!

BTW, if you like baseball, then you're gonna like this: I'm going to the Coliseum to see Shohei. He's still listed as active and I swear to god, I will send reiki energy all the way from behind right field to make the UCL heal perfectly!

Oh, and btw, I'm an A's fan too and this team might have a few detractors but even they gotta admit... things are heating up in Oakland!