MormonMan - Experienced Male massage therapist in San Francisco, CA

I'm wearing a pink thong, white ballcap, sneakers & my glove. That is one hell of a himbo fashion statement and at the same time a functional and sensible uniform for playing ball on a sunny hot day like today.

I submitted this uniform concept to Nike and the SF Giants and never received a response. Just to show you what fools they are, and how good this look is, I've uploaded two photos to my gallery; take a look when they're approved. For anyone who thinks that this is too revealing, you clearly did not hear that MLB went with see-through uniforms instead! Just Google it! My uniform concept reveals far less. Balls. I mean baseballs this is a rant about baseball.

Technically I submitted a design for the new uniform with an orange thong but since it was not accepted I went with a pink thong today because that seems more truly himbo and it's a nod to the visiting Padres & their awesome City connect uniforms.

You may eat all remaining Cadbury Eggs now!


I've got three left! Eff yeah!


Make that two.


Maybe I'll savor this final one...


You know, Easter is in the past but I say look to the future! We never really think about the true meaning of the spirit of Arbor Day, do we? Don't our friends, The Trees, deserve more? Arbor Day is when we put aside tree prejudice and show our gratitude to the green co-inhabitants of this planet who- I'm sorry, what?


Cadbury's makes nothing for Arbor Day?


I'm out, screw the trees.

If you messaged me the past few days, I will answer shortly... but I've been celebrating a few things: my birthday, Opening Day of Baseball, and just the overall weird syncretic mess we've made trying to celebrate the start of Spring. You know what I mean. On the one hand, it's Holy Week & Easter, but on the other hand it's Spring Break and flashing your tits.

It's my favorite time of year! What can I say? I love all those things. There was time to sit quietly and mediate on what the promise of spring says about the losses I faced during winter. There was birthday fun with friends; we went to Oracle to watch the Giants and A's play the last game of Spring Training. Jellybeans and my tits were everywhere. I'm not kidding: I tan outside when we get any sun, in just a thong or speedo. No time for modesty when the warm sun is so rare in this City.

Speaking of which, all that Spring stuff is done for the week! There's rain and wind advisories and I'm inviting friends over for hot chocolate and and cuddle puddles. Stay warm everyone!

The windows and patio doors in my place have some severe leaks so I spent this afternoon weatherstripping the first of several large multi-pane casements. If you've seen my photos, they go from floor-to-ceiling and give my place an incredible view of everything. But it's gonna take days to finish everything so I'm determined to at least provide my neighbors with more than just me in my coveralls. This is weatherstripping, after all. Today I worked the caulk gun and weatherstrips in the sun so I got away with working in my briefs, then bikinis, and finally thong. About the only thing I didn't wear was the Mormon underwear everyone wants to see. The stuff is so long in the legs and sleeves that it's like wearing pajamas. I'll stick to the pink leopard bikini briefs for now.

Assuming their approved, I'm posting pics to my public album because the stuff actually loods good, but then I like old school briefs and tacky bright bikinis. Again, anything but the boring potato sack that mormon undies are.

Now it's time for some stretching and working my glutes and hammies with a baseball, a roller, and a metal yardstick.

I'm back in my briefs, feeling dry and warm in the sun while I weatherstrip windows and feed the crows and blue jays some peanuts. The hummingbirds too. Nope, that's it. Just liking life in my undies and the sun

The rain is back? Another atmospheric river?! You can't swim in the Bay when the rain is washing waste from lawns & streets into it. You can't linger shirtless on a blanket in Washington Square. Even the birds won't come around and I just got them eating from my hand. Last weekend cleared up & I was able to lounge on the balcony in tighty whities late into the night with friends & wine, after some seriously fun SketchFest shows. What a tease! The sun, not my Hanes! I don't want to be cold and wet anymore!

So what am I supposed to do now with another week of rain? You know what? I'm not gonna fight it, but I AM gonna get wet on my terms. That means working up a sweat at the gym: lifting & working my muscles till I'm dripping! Then spending some serious time in the sauna: sitting on the top bench with it all hanging out in the steam till I'm schvitzing! Finally, I'm gonna take that sweaty energy & use it to massage some lucky soul deep and hard till he's wet and relaxed too, a virtual human Slip 'n Slide!

Or maybe one of you has a better idea? Slip 'n slide into my DM's with some inspiration & I'll share some pics from this week.

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, & Good Solstice!

The Winter Solstice marks the time when Earth's rotation on a tilted access causes the Northern hemisphere to face away from the Sun rather than towards it. As a result, we have short days and longer, cold nights.

But it's also Perihelion, the time when Earth's orbit brings the planet as a whole closest to the Sun! What a juxtaposition! Strolling up alongside our pretty little star but then facing away like some infatuated fool trying to pretend we don't care.

Let's get it together, Solar System! And if we can't change planetary orbits, then let's huddle together as people, try to stay warm, share what food and drink we have, and ensure we all make it thru to easier times next spring.

More than just survive, I encourage you all to thrive and prosper. Take this week to reach out to those around you: text a cat meme to a loved one; tell a stranger Good Morning or Thank You; and be proud of yourself for making it this far and for being complex, strange, and entirely human. You're doing something right, kiddo, and the rest of us appreciate it! We all have reason to celebrate the season and I wish each of you a Joyeux Perihelion!

I was wandering the exhibit floor of the AGU's annual conference today, and talking to some the folks at a booth for a Japanese university. As a fun gift, they were making origami pieces and handed me one, saying, "It's a helmet!"

"Yes, I replied, a samurai helmet like Shohei brought to the Angels, but now he's with the Dodgers! And yes, I know I'm wearing a Giants hat but I still love Shohei. Everyone loves Shohei!"

So the Japanese folks beamed, I beamed and after I explained to the other conference attendees who Shohei is and what baseball is, they beamed too!


Tho it's gonna **** next season.


But then I went to the very next booth over, a Korean geophysical marine sciences group.
I looked at my phone and BREAKING NEWS: Jung Hoo Lee signs with the Giants!

Awesome! But... you have got to be kidding me! How are these booths placed like this for the news coming to my phone right now possible? Am I stroking out?

Nah, but I'm still a little suspicious that the universe is messing around with me.

And if you're attending the AGU too, come nerd out and look at the polished ammonite fossil I bought while we discuss climate science and ice cores.

What is happening at the Rugby World Cup?!

There is no way that was red card worthy on the NZ Captain! The camera cut to Dan Carter in the stands. Put him in to play!


#rugby #rugbyworldcup #rugbyworldcup2023

But this post-season is outrageous and delightful. I haven't heard many folks on hear talk about it. Anyone else following?

BTW, Fleet Week was also outrageous and what a spectacular view here from the studio. So close you could see their helmets and face plates when they banked sharply.

Let's incorporate both events into this week's sessions. I can wear my baseball gear and put on a motorcycle helmet. Or is that just weird. No, I see it now that I write it out: it's weird. I'll save it for Halloween.

Don't choose. Watch the playoffs from a comfortable perch on the waterfront at Aquatic Park. The swim clubs have private docks and a dip now and then is how to stay cool.

My availability is limited this week as I host it if town friends and celebrate the armed forces and enjoy the air show. It officially starts Friday but they just started practicing now and I'm watching them fly over my Russian Hill studio

The SF Giants fired team manager Gabe Kapler! I can't imagine any other course of action but what a bummer turn of events at the end of a bummer last half of the season.

But...

I'm not bummed at all! Personally, this is the best season of baseball I've had in years! Not in winning; lord, so NOT in winning! I miss 2021....

But even as both teams lost, often to each other, I've had a blast at the stadiums or watching from home. The pitch clock and other new rules have sped up the game. I'm not much of a drinker and, without a buzz, baseball could get boooooring, even for me.

The faster game brings back the fun. For example, they're stealing more bases! Well, other teams are stealing more bases; the Giants actually rarely steal. But I get my fix watching the visiting teams steal, amazing record settings sprints by Acuna, De La Cruz or Kemp.

The Dodgers beat SF tonight, and we only have 2 games left. NO chance for playoffs. No manager! But I'm not bummed. I saw Freddie Freeman hit a ball out of the park tonight whose path described an arc that was beautiful to watch. He plays for the rival but the arc and the warm night are franchise agnostic. They're not bummed either.

I was at the game today in the Oakland Coliseum. The A's lost but man, I gotta say this season for like they gained a fighting spirit. I hope Nevada votes no in giving more money to billionaires but, well, Nevada. That's kinda their MO.

WHAT A CHANGE from opening day, where I went to see Shohei Ohtani & Mike Trout & my personal favorite Laureano. Shohei pitched & hit but now he's injured which means we already saw the greatest player in history peak. Trout just Trouts which is always good. And Laureano was unceremoniously traded to the Guardians, right when I decided to finally approach the dugout for an autograph! For the first time ever! Don't wait & regret my friends! Did I watch Ramon play with his new team against the Giants just a few weeks later? Yes. But still!

Now it's back to Oracle since the Giants are playing their final home games all week. I have much less passion about their season but only because they seemed to lack it too. There were good days, but I hope they find their spark by spring.

Another week past and all that magic and power we saw after Murph's retirement, the home debut of Kyle Harrison, Cobb's almost-No Hitter, a Wednesday day game so warm I only wore one jacket to the park... the point is that things looked up for the Giants, at least to keep the wild card slot we've held all season. But that was only because every other team lost so much that they failured us up the line.

I mean, we did sweep the Rockies this weekend. I'm not proud of it but you take a W where you can.

Anyone else out there no what's going on with the team? It can't be the weather or environmental factors because the Oakland A's are actually doing well. They were the worst team and I get that, only room to move up, but they are actually more fun to watch, their rookie players are making amazing records already, and I even got a baseball signed by their catcher, someone I like almost as much as our Giant's catch- oh god damn! Giants catcher Patrick Bailey is out with a concussion. We can't catch a break! Literally, not without him!

I forgot to mention but I watched the Reds play too expressly to see Votto and he was on the IL. BUT he was there, so I'm satisfied. Mostly. Get back to work Votto! I wanna cheer ya even when you're playing against my team!

BTW, if you like baseball, then you're gonna like this: I'm going to the Coliseum to see Shohei. He's still listed as active and I swear to god, I will send reiki energy all the way from behind right field to make the UCL heal perfectly!

Oh, and btw, I'm an A's fan too and this team might have a few detractors but even they gotta admit... things are heating up in Oakland!