NERDwBigHands's  Blog

With all these cities it feels like I’m on a tour, lol. Traveling can be difficult, especially in places you’ve never visited. It’s hard to gauge whether I’ll be able to make up the costs of traveling with appointments. It’s also nerve-wracking to anticipate the types of people I may meet—every city has a different energy with different types of people: some more kind, others more aggressive. With that being said, I still enjoy it and make sure that the sessions don’t get monotonous but still feel fresh. For most people it’s the first time they’ve ever experienced something like this, for others it’s a step in being vulnerable and open. I try not to take that for granted. If you see travelers in your area, take a chance and support us workers in this industry. It can be expensive and the support of the local community goes a long way in helping me plan future visits where I know I’ll be received well. I’m putting myself out there in a vulnerable way just as much as clients that trust me when they disrobe and climb on my table. I have a special place in my heart for my regulars that keep trusting me and building on that incredible exchange of energy. 🙏🏽🤓

I know, some of the reviews sound like they are reaching or AI-generated. I promise they aren’t. That doesn’t make the bouquet of praise easier to take in for me. I just try to do my best and focus on each client like they are my only client that I need to maintain and keep coming back. When I approach the session that way is when it becomes special, memorable, and meaningful. But it’s just a massage! Yes, but allowing someone to touch your body is vulnerable, personal, and intimate, regardless of the intention or anticipated happy ending (which, by the way, I highly suggest a happy beginning or middle to help fully relax by the end…or a couple of happy episodes-why not.) So while, for some, the session is a quick relaxation exercise, for others it’s an enormous and brave attempt at being present and vulnerable. I don’t take that for granted. I feel lucky to have met so many amazing and beautiful people and shared some special experiences. Looking forward to many more 🙏🤓

It’s interesting to see that each city has its own vibe and type of client. Every one good or bad for different reasons, some more pushy/aggressive, and others more shy/reserved. Some of my favorites so far have been Seattle, Tucson, Denver, Chicago, and Charlotte. Mind you, some of my favorite clients live in other cities, but generally these have been the best experiences overall so far. Each city has a unique lineup of characters, from serial flakes and entitled rich folk, to kind and uber-appreciative first-timers. You’d be surprised (or maybe not) to know how many of my clients have wives! Or how many are doctors, politicians, famous actors, school principals, surgeons, police officers, or government officials. I should write a book! lol. Of course part of the reason why I don’t post any face pics is because it’s important for me to keep my anonymity in order to protect and keep my clients private. So, no, I don’t touch and tell;) But there is a lot I could write about it. The underground world of sensual massage is an interesting bedside read for sure…

Just wanted to say thank you, genuinely, for those that gave this photo-less guy a chance, and those that kept coming back for some reason. I appreciate all of you. Take care of yourselves this holiday season, eat all the food, relax, it’s gonna be fine, and get a massage if you need the extra help 🤗 Hope to see you in the New Year! …and if you haven’t seen me yet (after my having 100 reviews… 👀) What are you waiting for?! lol

Massage sessions are intimate by nature, so seeing who you'll be in a session with is completely understandable and justified. Unfortunately we live in a world where a bad session with a client, for any reason, can turn into not just a bad review (which I have none of yet, thank God) but a weapon against my job or social circles. This isn't my main gig but I love doing it when I can, especially because I'm good at it (I'm not being caulky, well...I digress) and I love helping people heal, feel better, and make genuine connections. Our cancel culture world is an unfortunate one to be in, especially when I think my latin/mediterranean look could be a good selling point for those that are more olive-skinned inclined when choosing masseurs. Then there are those that ask for specific pics besides the face. Even Anthony Weiner couldn't escape the ramifications of his select picture sharing and he has more connections for protection than I do from societal chastising. In some of my reviews clients describe what I look like (cuter than a bridge troll but not an unapproachable douche) but in the end you'll see me, all of me, and can decide to leave or stay and I promise it's all good:)

When it comes to setting timeframes it's reductive to have to choose between the typical 1hr or 1 1/2hr massage. It's especially difficult when combining therapeutic and sensual elements because everybody responds differently to relaxation and stimulation, some faster and some slower than others. When it comes to 60min sessions I generally will leave out a few signature moves to stay within the time frame but typically go beyond the 60 min mark. 90min sessions are for those that respond slowly to relaxation/stimulation and ensures that the full session is completed regardless of time. That being said, it's more about the experience and arc of the session, which may be more or less than the usual timeframes. It would be annoying for me to say 'times up' at the exact limit if the session hasn't completely finished its arc, right? It would also be annoying for someone to be upset that we finished a few minutes early if the session naturally ended at a certain time. I never rush or force a session to finish early but know that the time is relative and more often than not goes over (some clients want to shower after, etc.). Just know my focus is on the experience, not the clock;)

I wish guys wouldn’t make massage so taboo or secretive. It’s an amazing, common, energizing practice that everyone gets, and I mean everyone. Clients range from pastors, school principles, straight married gentlemen, gay/bi/curious guys, doctors, lawyers, nurses, students, shy guys, confident guys, and fellow nerds. Don’t ever feel any shame about enjoying something so basic as touch and relaxation. We all deserve and need it. We all get it. Try not to over question or analyze. Be comfortable knowing you’re in good hands and will be well taken care of. 80+ reviews can’t be wrong, right? For everyone 1 review there were 100-200 non-reviewers. Trust these experienced BIG hands 👋🏽😉

I love food. All kinds of food. I love ice cream, cake (Susie Cakes & Nothing Bundt Cake are my go-to's) and Costco gets me every time with their NY Cheesecake. I never cared about having a perfect body and I absolutely hate going to the gym, lol. But this past winter I found an ingenious way to marry two concepts...I started walking/jogging on the treadmill while watching YouTube cooking shows, lol. It makes me forget I'm working out and gets me excited about getting back up to my apartment to cook and try something new. Long story short, I'm getting more toned! I thought it was an impossibility, especially being in my 30's, but somehow the fat is melting off and muscles are coming through. I'm definitely not complaining, but it's ruining my whole 'nerd without a perfect body' persona. Oh well. Good news, I still love cake and have a slice every morning with my coffee :) More good news, I've been vegan now for about 2 years!!! Yes, the cakes I have now are vegan, but still delicious. Anywho, just thought I'd say something because I'm excited abs are showing through without that much extra effort. I really did accept the reality that I would never have them, but alas.

Let me start off by saying masseurs should never use baby oil. If you see baby oil by the table, run. For a pricey, but special, massage at least some thought should be put into what type of massage medium will be used. Lotion has its benefits; good for super sensitive skin or allergies. But it dries very quickly. I like to use long gliding strokes and roll my arms underneath the body and through the legs. One glide with lotion and it's already time to reapply. Oil can be tricky because you don't want a heavy sticky feeling on the skin but you want to be able to slide around and play for a while before having to reapply. I've found the non-scented (even scented) coconut oil works best because the non-scented version has only 7.9mcg/ml of protein which essentially means it won't cause an allergic reaction even to someone with a coconut allergy. It's edible, has health benefits (anti-inflammatory) and works great for massage. Of the hundreds of massages I've done, I've only been asked to use the lotion for sensitive skin once and it wasn't as fun. If you hate the smell of coconut, just ask for the unscented version and I'll be happy to oblige. Slide on, boys!

I get asked sometimes why I ask clients to make sure they clean ‘all the nooks and crannies’ just before the massage. I realized it’s difficult trying to make sure clients are scrubbed down enough without making it seem as if they are getting ready for something more than a massage (which they are not.) But if you showered in the morning and have an after-work massage appt, it’s as if you didn’t at all. I mean, if I had a penny for every piece of toilet paper trapped between the cheeks I’d have about $1256.35 (but of course I’m not counting.) Now, I specialize in glute work, spreading, pushing, grinding, sliding, a lot goes on back there including my face being very very close to the action. I get some people have ‘musk’ and that is not what I’m talking about. I’m talking strong, get knocked out by the odor bad smell. Since I’m pretty shy and non-confrontational I never say anything and try my best to use a warm cloth to wipe or use scented massage oils to mask the offensive odors. I have to say…this happens waaaay more often than it should. Best thing I can recommend is that the more pleasant the experience is for me the more into it and pleasurable it will be for you ;)

I've been busy helping underserved communities get vaccinated and haven't had any time for massage. 12hr days can be tough but I'm prioritizing what is needed right now for all of our sakes. I know we all want things to get back to normal as soon as possible and I'm doing what I can to help get us there. It's made me realize how much I miss massage and how therapeutic and meditative it really has been for me. Can't wait to get back to it! As soon as I know a date that I can start again I'll start accepting appts in advance. Miss everyone!

I always try to book BnBs instead of Hotels because they are usually safer and more discrete for myself and clients. It also helps everyone to feel more comfortable on all levels. The problem is I don't know the cities I travel to very well so avoiding the 'shady' spots can get tricky. I learn every time I visit a new place but have had some crazy experiences.
I booked a 'converted' hotel in a city once that was basically a shady old hotel with a paint job. It had that fresh old sofa/carpet smell you get when visiting your grandparents. Walls so thin I could hear the neighbor breathing-no joke. There wasn't much I could do about it that night, so had a session against my better judgement. I felt bad because I wanted the experience to be amazing and I didn't feel like I delivered. Thankfully, the client seemed happy at the end. I ended up packing everything up the next day and moving to a different BnB, unloading everything again, and was much happier. You live and you learn, right?
So next time you see a masseur traveling through your area, reach out, send a message, and recommend the better parts of town to stay in ;)
-NERD