How do you like clients to feel about the experience when they leave?
It's interesting but very recently I had a client who told me that he was "seeking an exorcism" and that is exactly what I gave him.
How often do you travel? Do you prefer to travel or are you more of a homebody?
Homebody but I will travel if hired to do so.
Tell us a little about yourself, if you were to pick something what would you like your clients to absolutely know about you?
I hope that I'm always growing and constantly learning from my clients. And I hope I can consistently rise to the challenge of transforming cynicism and sarcasm into wisdom and knowledge. I value what I know and what I've learned from 64 years of living. Yes, aging is a bitch no matter how much frosting you try to cover it up with; it hurts and it's sad. But it happens. TO ALL. My capacity to radically accept all of the curve balls [and the gifts] that life has tossed my way has given me the strength to survive and in many ways thrive. The challenge of living in NYC and being low-income is never ending. But simplicity in life, I believe is a virtue. And being economically challenged has taught me to hopefully value the core essentials of life and not get swept up in the obsessions with things. Likes; fit men, MUSCLE, animals music, nature, safe ***, edibles, a good laugh. Dislikes; Trump, judgemental people, dingleberry smells, no-shows, politically correct censorship and liberal stupidity. I welcome my flaws and the challenge to try to remember to be kind even though life is tough and there will always be a mix of the gold and the shadow in me and you. Trick is to embrace it.
Do you remember your first client ? Tell us something about that first day when you decided to be a Masseur!
Once upon a time, a massaged a BIG MUSIC MOGUL who actually paid me in nickels, dimes and pennies. He was the cheapest S.O.B. I ever met, right on Park Avenue. And he was gross Ew. Yuck. The good thing is the experience inspired me to write a fabulous song "Park Avenue" wherein the theme is winning, striking it big, and feasting on life's rewards. Make lemons from lemonade. Even though your dreams may die today, life keeps giving us new pages and new moments. Resentment and addiction are the fastest way to self-sabotage. Quiet the inner critic, try to do your best and when something isn't working don't keep beating yourself up to make it work. Change, move on, let go, surrender. And most importantly find your own voice and trust YOUR intuition. Radically accept change. It is all we truly have. My career choice was between doing hair and doing bodywork because I got tired of working for idiot producers. The bodywork won; less toxic materials to work with. In conclusion the "white-man entitlement" argument is bs. I got here through hard-work. And I believe men should be included in the "Me Too movement." How's all that for remembering my first client? LOL
Do you consider yourself a successful Masseur?
Relatively speaking, yes. Ageism in the LGBTQ and the down-low world though is rampant. It hurts but I'm constantly learning to embrace the pain, along with the joy of not caring and the supreme self-possession and confidence that growing older brings.
How would you like someone that contacts you for a massage to feel when they leave?
Like they've been healed or like the release was so powerful that they will feel the effect for days afterward.
What are your hobbies, what do you like to do in your spare time?
I make art. See below
RM blog here censors my blog address. If you search Blogger Bodyworker Arts or SteveOrrstories, you should be able to find it. Email me for the link if you are having trouble.
I love to write, blog and make music. That pretty much covers it. See sites above for my writing, music, performance. All works c. by Steven Orr.
Why did you become a Masseur?
I'm feral by nature. I have a great need to be independent. I have always distrusted the corporate world and even now crowds turn me off. I need to make my own schedule. I prize my freedom above ambition. This has cost me in the long run, but I'll be alright. No regrets about anything really. Sometimes I feel man is basically good; other times I look at the one percent and feel we are living in a dystopian hell. Animals are a great lesson for me as they teach me unconditional love and how to keep my heart open. I'm grateful to be connected to the world through my love of nature. The ocean, sun and sky are my sanctuaries.
I've struggled to accept myself as bi, gay and shame free. I'm grateful to have discovered massaging men as an income. When it works it's the best. I feel love. When it's slow or men don't show up, I'm reminded how false and cruel men can be. To me, we are all souls living in animated meat. Some of us are kind and some of us are ignorant and give pain. It's all a great game. I'm very lucky to have my creativity to fall back on, and a great respect for self-pleasuring. Sometimes you must be a warrior and sometimes a lover; my favorite is the latter.
What advice would you give to someone who wants to be a Masseur?
If you're going to heal people by all means be a masseur. If you're game plan is to be a hustler do the world a favor and kill yourself. We don't anymore of those.
What distinguishes you from all the other Masseurs?
There is only one of me and there will ever only be one of me.
How long have you been a Masseur and how long do think you'd like to continue?
The phrase "When knighthood was in flower" comes to mind. I will be doing massage until I die. I LOVE the THRILL of meeting new men and enjoy working within the structure of a massage session. In real life I can be insecure. And spontaneity can be a challenge after all the money exchanges I've had. But I am part mercenary, part actor, and essentially an artist. In the city I have access to clients and a whole lot of men. This is good. There's also lots of toxicity, violence, competition and phoniness in the urban environment. Some younger men don't seem to get it that when they call a guy Daddy it can be a creepy turn off. Maybe someday younger queens will wake up and look to the elders for guidance and mentoring but I won't hold my breath. We have entered a very puritanical time now but hopefully people will continue to evolve and realize that we all want the same thing which is kindness, respect, comfort, and a decent quality of life. However, with the one percent holding most of the wealth in the world, I see enormous conflicts on the horizon. Hopefully Mother Earth will cleanse us before we destroy and sterilize her.
Some people say that being a Masseur is addictive. Would you miss your Masseur days ?
When you're alone, it's easy to fall into the trap of feeding off the work and seeking fulfillment and connection through it. When times are slow, it forces me to be sober and to be a more whole person seeking fulfillment through myself and my creativity, not through men. Then I start to get a few calls and I work again, so there's a balance.
When I was fifty and younger-and when I kept calling myself fifty for about a decade-work was steady. Now that I'm sixty-four, slow periods can last two weeks. Then I still manage to have a repeat or a few good clients who either have a Daddy thing or happen to be intelligent, discerning men seeking the kind of quality massage experience I offer. My work has slowed down again, due to ageism and competition. But because of that, I'm forced to focus on OTHER productive activities which have nothing at all to do with massaging men, i.e., my acting, music and writing.
I'm also proud to be able to still do massage, and use my hands and body skillfully so I don't hurt myself. More than 25 years...I made it this far because I'm smart. I own it. I laugh at clients who hire underwear models. If you gotta pay, buy a service that heals you, not porn.
Is extensive training necessary for a Masseur in order to be successful?
Training? Or having a license? They are two different things. And for the majority of men doing M4M massage, both training and having a license are irrelevant. They are superseded by 1) how ***y your pictures are and 2) how young you are. In this economic downturn many men (and women) are who poor are simply hanging out a sign that says "Massage for Sale." Selling yourself has always been an alternative to starving. We are seeing a growing number of that demographic. It's pretty sad. And yet it's beautiful that people can sell themselves to avoid starvation and pay the rent. No one should judge anyone for finding a way to survive that works. I don't like being called "Daddy" without permission, it's disrespectful and yet I do own the fact that physically in the LGBTQ world of stereotypes and cartoons, this is the role/persona that I currently inhabit. Self-acceptance is all. And there's quite a difference between being a Grandma type and a Hot Daddy. Hopefully I'm in the latter category! Oh--and I'm very happy to give private lessons, to individuals or couples!